Give the Dark Skin Girls Some Love!

The first time I lost confidence in myself was when I was in the sixth grade. It took a boy one time to call me ‘ugly’ and my confidence shattered into pieces. I will never forget bawling my eyes out when I got home that day. I could not wrap my head around why I was called ugly. Before that, I was a happy girl who smiled more and enjoyed being around people. I thought that I was called ‘ugly’ because I was shy, but I was actually ‘ugly’ because I was dark skinned. I never understood in middle school why dark skin girls were seen as terrible people. I started to hear boys talk about how ugly I was and would say “ewe” when they walked past me. The saddest part was when dark skin guys would pick on me because it made no sense that dark skin guys picked on dark skin girls.

I believe I slowly became angry at people and developed an angry facial expression. I stopped smiling, and I stopped looking at people in the face. I would mostly stare at the ground when I walked. My self-esteem was so low that I hated taking pictures. I would take the pictures, but deep inside I never liked the way I look. When I was in middle school, I did not want to be dark-skinned. I  always thought about what it would’ve been like to be a light-skinned girl because they were treated so much better. There were times where I thought about actually bleaching my skin, but I didn’t because I saw how bleach messed up a lot of people’s skin. I was picked on for my skin tone for a long time until I started my junior year of high school. I may have still been getting picked on then, but I didn’t care.

Colorism happens in almost all races with darker pigmentation. Being picked on for being dark skinned can be very damaging mentally, physically, and emotionally. I did not ask to be dark skinned, so I should’ve never been picked on for what I could never change. I thank God that my parents always encouraged me to be proud of my skin tone. I can honestly say through the experience that I became strong and slowly gained my confidence back. Today, I have good eye contact with people, and I understand that my skin tone does not define who I am. It also does not determine what I can do. I have gotten to the part in my life where I enjoy what I see in the mirror. I love my dark skin now, and there is nothing that anybody can do to change the way I feel.

For the young dark skin girls:

  • You have to understand that you are beautiful. If you don’t love what you see in the mirror, then you will never be satisfied with yourself.
  • Guys that call you ugly, really like you and girls that pick on your appearance obviously envy you. If you are struggling with feeling great about your skin, tell yourself in a mirror “I am beautiful.”
  • Learn to avoid what people think about your appearance slowly. People are going to talk regardless, so that’s you why you have to strengthen your confidence on your own.
  • If you start to love on yourself a little more, then you will be satisfied with who you are. It honestly does not matter who you are on the outside, but if you have a great heart, soul, mind, and attitude that’s the best part about you. You could be gorgeous and still have a nasty attitude.
  • You are an amazing and beautiful person!

On that note, have a great day or great night! Do you have any experiences with a dark skin girl that you would like to share? Do you have any tips to encourage young dark skin girls to gain high self-esteem? Let’s talk in the comments!

Prayer: Lord I pray that You let young girls and women understand that you made them this way for a reason. Take away the pain that they are dealing with or have dealt with because of their darker complexion. Help them to become confident in the skin that they are in. Help them to see the beauty that You created for them internally and externally. In Your name, Amen!

Proverbs 14:26: In the fear of the Lord one has confidence, and it will be a refuge for his children.


Add Yours
  1. 1

    I too dealt with serious self esteem issues regarding my skin tone while in middle school. I use to put lemons on my skin as a natural remedy to lighten it. The interesting part about all of it is that I never had anyone lighter than me tease me about my skin torn nor females it was always a dark skin boy asking “where did _____ go” when the lights would turn off in class. Later on in life I developed tons of self love and am totally comfortable who I am as a person today. It is comforting to know that I was not the only person who experienced this type of thing (colorism)

    • 2

      I have never heard of lemons being used to lighten skin. That’s different and it’s sad to hear dark skin boys would make that comment towards you. I am so happy to hear that you are comfortable with yourself now! You are truly not alone dealing with colorism. Thank you for reading and commenting!

  2. 5

    I dealt with this in high school and I’m not even so dark skinned. The lighter girls always got all the attention and I wanted to be like them. Thank God I grew up to be comfortable in my skin.

    • 6

      I understand. I wanted to be like them too, but it’s so great to hear you’re comfortable in your skin now 🙂 thank you for reading!

  3. 7
    Aminat Salihu

    Chelle, this was such a great piece and great narrative. Colorism is unfortunetly live, well, and thriving. And even though darker-toned beauties are at the center of ridicule more often than other shades, everyone has work to do because when you love yourself, there’s no need to tear another person down. I loved this– your advice to young girls will go far.

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