A Reflection on 2018

Recently during my time with God, I started reflecting on how God has really shaped me up in 2018. I just wanted to share what I’ve typed in my notes on my phone. Lately, God has been silent in my life, but when I Iook back at the things He’s been doing, I just become grateful. God really did all this for me! Take a look at what I’ve written. I hope that it inspires you to reflect on how God has changed you or gotten you through some tough moments in 2018. If you can’t automatically think, ask God to bring to your remembrance what He has done in 2018.

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God has been gracious this year! I’m undeserving of it all! I’ve truly changed as a person. I started January 2018 hoping to reconnect with God. 2017 wasn’t the best year with a lot of backsliding and a lot of death. I can’t stop speaking about the transformation I see in myself this year.

I’ve backslid a lot in the past, but this year has been a year of becoming closer to God seriously. I’m not saying I’ve become perfect this year because there’s always something that I need to work on. We all have work to do as long as we’re living. I am saying that this is the best person I’ve felt…well ever… you’re talking to a girl that dealt with many insecurity issues. I always felt like something was wrong with me. I was a girl that pleaded for some guy to like me so I could feel secure.

God has shown me that He’s all I need to feel secure about myself. When I felt unloved by boys, I felt God’s LOVE showering over me. He’s never let me down, and I know He won’t.

I remember wondering will I ever know what it’s like to have a boyfriend? You’re talking to a girl that’s 22 years old without no experience but having a crush on someone. God showed me this year that there’s someone made for me. I have to be patient and wait for His timing. I trust His time because I’ve learned that just because people scream about them being in a relationship doesn’t mean nothing. They could feel just as lonely as a single person.

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This year God helped me get away from the biggest stronghold in my life since I was a kid. That’s secular music. I’ll probably never run away completely because commercials play them all the time, but it’s a choice that I’ve made personally to step away from. Christian music is so peaceful to my spirit, and some Gospel music is head bopping approved okay?! Contact me if you’re interested in some modern Gospel music.

I learned how to put more trust in God. I’m still working on this, but I’ve gotten better with just trusting what He’s told me will happen.

Spring semester 2018, I learned who God really was and that He can literally do ANYTHING. I mean it’s easy to say He can do anything, but to experience His great works is mind-blowing! He helped me pass the hardest class in my major and that’s Life Drawing. It’s so hard that my advisor said it usually takes people 3 times to pass. Life Drawing is extremely hard when you’re not used to drawing. I was failing the class for half of the semester, and then I started doing better by the grace of God,  but at the last moment, I had made Ds on my assignments. I was already failing more than passing. I was terrified. I wanted to pass this class so bad that I started fasting and praying. I got my mom involved, and she fasted and prayed with me like she was going through it. My dad told me he was praying as well. I was like all this praying and fasting Lord, something has to happen. I remember fasting in the midst of class saying in my head “Lord I want to pass this class” His response quickly after was “And you will.” I nearly cried in class.

When it came to the final three grades, I was feeling good, but when the LD teacher returned my assignments with a C and a D, I wondered what? God how? I don’t get it. I had one grade left to count on, and that was my final exam which was a portfolio of my drawings. I went to my room crying hoping that I heard the Lord speaking to me because I wanted to pass this class. After crying, I began to repeat “I trust you, God. I know you can do it!”

I went to sleep that night hoping when I went to get my portfolio, I would learn that I passed. As soon as I was heading to the door to my LD classroom, my LD teacher opened the door and said with a stern look “You passed. You passed with the skin of your teeth”(some country saying). I exclaimed, “oh wow thank you so much!” I was thanking God so much in my head. I was so happy, and I knew that God could be trusted. God told me I would pass, and not only that He allowed the teacher to come out the door to tell me I passed. God is GOOD! He can do ANYTHING, and He will do what He told you He’ll do for you. You’re not crazy or overthinking it. I’m living proof that He got me through the second toughest moment in college.

I’ve learned how to be patient with long lines that is. I still get frustrated when things in life don’t go quickly. If everything that we wanted happened at once, it would be overwhelming. God’s timing is the best timing!

One thing I’m learning how to be patient about is not having a car or a license. People  have made me feel like something is wrong with me. I’m broken because I didn’t get my license at 16 or 17 like them or other kids. I’ve been wanting it since I was a senior in high school. God has spoken to me that it’s not my time yet. I never knew there could be timing with God for driving, but there is in my life. If anyone else is dealing with this, remember that your time is coming! I took lessons and was frustrated because I wasn’t able to get my license quickly as I wanted. I didn’t care about the car, but I wanted to have the license at least so I could prove I could drive. I feel like I’m going to be double blessed with this trial. I’ll have a license and a car. It’s tough especially being in college. I’m thankful for a roommate that I built a good relationship with, and she happened to have a car. I’m not able to go anywhere I want to go this year because she graduated. I’m thankful that the Lord allowed her to be in my life for two years.

This situation recently taught me how to humble myself as well. I refuse to be prideful when I receive a license and a car. I hope to be a blessing to those I know that don’t have a car. I want to help them in any way I can. I will not let someone run over me or just make me feel like I’m obligated to take them to work. I wish to be a blessing to those who can’t get to the grocery store of their choice or can’t enjoy a fast food favorite. I’ll be able to understand those challenges because I’m dealing with that right now.

I learned that I had some pride in me. My mom would always say “ask your family for help with money on Facebook.” I never felt like I needed to do that. I honestly never wanted to do it because I felt helpless or needy. I never wanted to portray that image. This year I got into a tight situation with money. I needed things, and I did what I’ve known to do. PRAY! I prayed, and the Lord lead me to do something I never wanted to do. Ask for financial help on Facebook. I didn’t want to do it, but I wanted to be obedient to Jesus.

God allowed me to see that I was prideful. I was in a mindset of “I got my mom and dad. I don’t have to ask for money from others”, but the Lord was saying well if your mom and dad are having money trouble, who do you lean to next? The rest of your family. I learned that sometimes the Lord just wants to teach us lessons through obedience. He could have easily allowed someone to give me money, but He was saying not this time, I want to reveal a bad trait that you’re dealing with. I can’t get to Heaven with pride. I must humble myself before the Lord. If you struggle with obedience to Jesus, click here!

I’ve learned to enjoy sermons and church. Growing up going to church was boring to me. I couldn’t understand anything in the church. I didn’t understand the praise breaks. When I was little, I just did it because it kind of looked fun to do. I didn’t understand the meaning of praising God until the end of my middle school years. This year sermons have been exhilarating to my spirit, and they are shaping me into the woman I’m becoming.

I’ve learned so many things, and I’m just grateful to grow closer to God again this year. I think this is the first year I’ve become serious about my relationship with the Lord. I’m also reading the Bible more often now. I never would dig into the Bible, but I’ve been learning lessons and how I can apply it to my life.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, help us to remember the lessons you’ve taught us in 2018 and help us to implement those lessons in 2019. Jesus thank You for helping those who have grown closer to You! Help the ones that don’t know You to start a relationship with You today! Thank You, Jesus, for drawing us near You! You are GREAT! In Jesus name, Amen!

Isaiah 40:8 NLT: The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of God stands forever.

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6 Comments

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  1. 1
    Ayodimeji

    One of the things that gives me joy and help me to be more patience is the fact that “For every man, God created a woman”.
    I clocked 20 this year, but right now am planning of starting a date next year as it has been included to one of my goals for 2019. Because I found someone I love but will approach her next year and believe me during my times of communicating with God, it something not easy as I taught it would be. I prayed on it, but yet struggles with cultural barriers.
    The lady is from a city my parents advised me not to marry from, and the lady also might have being warned not to marry from mine also. But now, our friendship seems to be getting more complicated, yet we both plays as kids.

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