I’ve reflected on the things that God has done for me as a whole, but in this post, I break down the transformation in months. It might be long, but I want to give you a breakdown of the ups and downs in this year. I want you to be inspired and know that nobody’s life is perfect in Christ. As Christians, we are here to share the Good News of Christ, and I pray that I can always be honest and raw about the way God has changed and rearranged me. I pray that if you are feeling hopeless about your life, then you will find hope from this post. I pray that you get saved by Jesus Christ, so you can watch the transformation in your life starting now and in 2019.
January 2018: I made a decision that I wanted to become closer to God. I didn’t change overnight. I started off trying to listen to Gospel music, but I was still attached to Rap and Hip Hop music. I prayed to grow to closer to God and continued to repent to God. I asked God to help me continuously during this month. I remember there was a time where I felt ashamed to be a Christian.
I would listen to Rap and Hip Hop in front of people and listen to Gospel music by myself in my room. I barely spent time with God. I didn’t know what quiet times with God were. I know God would wake me up in the wee hours of the morning, 5 am, to be exact. I would listen to my daily bread app and read this Christian Inspirational app. I would watch a preacher, and that would be it. I would still go about my day being worldly. In this same month, my mom sent me a sermon series called Relationship Goals from Pastor Mike Todd. This sermon series opened me up to become closer to God.
February 2018: My blog had launched, and I wanted to be close to God so that I wouldn’t lead people astray. I took this blog seriously because I’m sure God called me to write to His people. I remember starting to pray frequently in the morning, started spending time with God before I did anything else. I remember waiting to hear Jekalyn Carr’s new album. I don’t know why I was so excited to listen to this album, but I was ready. When I listened to that album, I felt my spirit revived. I felt the fire of God burning inside of me. I wanted more of God after listening to this album. My prayer life increased in this month. I tried to put an end to listening to Rap and Hip-Hop music. In this same month, I picked up on watching more sermons from different pastors.
March 2018: I remember going home for Spring Break, and I went to church for Wednesday Bible study. The service was about receiving the Holy Ghost or reviving the tongue of the Heavenly language. I remember asking God to revive my tongue. I hadn’t spoken in tongues since I received the Holy Ghost in 2011. During that service, I begin to let go and let the Holy Ghost take control of my tongue. I never knew what I was saying, but it was such a great feeling. The warm feeling in my stomach and allowing the Holy Ghost to intercede for me at that moment was just beautiful. I remember Jonathan McReynold’s new album released. I just felt like God was allowing great Christian artist to release new music so that I could get back on track. I continued to pursue God in this month, and my writing for the blog began to elevate as I became in tune with God.
April 2018: I was becoming focused on school because the end of the semester was approaching. I was fasting more and praying more because I wanted God to answer my prayer for me to pass my Life Drawing class (talked about in a previous post). I started listening to Brian Courtney Wilson new album. New Gospel albums were coming out back to back. I found myself watching sermons more than television. I was still interested in watching Real Housewives and all those crazy reality shows, but I said I’m going to stop watching these shows because I knew they were making me crave drama.
May 2018: I went back home for the summer break, and I was backsliding. I listened to Gospel now and then. I went back and retrieved some old Hip-Hop albums that the Holy Spirit lead me to delete the first time in 2017. I was paying more attention to Hip – Hop/ Rap music than ever before.
June 2018: I found myself gravitating to Gospel music, but I listened to Rap/Hip – Hop music every once and a while. I spent time with God more this month feeling stagnant in my relationship with Him. I was bored with the relationship between God and I. I was reading devotionals, listening to Christian music, and I don’t remember myself picking up my Bible. I was doing those things to feel right with God. I was unmotivated to post on the blog because I started thinking of it for the wrong reasons. I was wondering why the Lord didn’t want to answer my prayer to making financial income from my blog. I needed money at this time. I posted, but I just did it because it was the right thing to do.
I got on Twitter feeling like the HS was leading me to do it. I searched for Christians on Twitter. I didn’t want to follow worldly people that much. I just wanted to focus on a Christ-centered place for me to go and dump my thoughts about Jesus. Instagram was a mixture of people, and Facebook was and is still a whole mess.
July 2018: I was finding some Christ-centered people to follow on Twitter, and in the middle of July, I saw someone talk about a godly community in a group chat setting. I was immediately in awe of the idea of chatting with Christians in a group chat. When I became a part of it, I was overwhelmed with all the chatting going on. I always felt like too many people in group chats overlooked me because so many conversations were going on. I got out of the chat and left it alone, but then I felt lead to talk in a chat that didn’t have many people talking. It was refreshing to be introduced to a godly community because I always wanted to talk to people who loved Jesus like me.
I was so happy about this part of my life. I stopped listening to Rap/Hip-Hop music completely. The godly community inspired me to cut off secular music. An exciting moment happened in the house while my family was out of town, I worshiped and just praised Jesus after showering. The Holy Spirit lead me to pray for my home in tongues. It was such a fantastic experience. If you don’t believe in the Holy Ghost or speaking in tongues, it’s pretty hard to understand how amazing this moment was for me.
August 2018: I felt like I was in a stable relationship with God. I thought about how I didn’t want Him to leave me while I was in college. I wanted to stay near Him in every way because the way I was feeling about God was beautiful. One day, while I was in a group chat, I kept seeing Christian women talking about how they use prayer journals. They write their prayers in journals, so they won’t forget to pray for others, and they know what to pray for. I was interested, so I would go on Pinterest trying to figure the format out for a prayer journal. I was pretty confused, so I decided to buy journals first and see where it goes. I bought a journal to record sermons or devotional notes. I bought another journal for my prayers. For some reason, I thought about just writing to Jesus through the journal. I named it “Conversations With Jesus” so that I could establish that this was a journal to talk to Jesus. I became excited to write to Jesus and excited about spending time with Him again. The start of my senior year in college was a success with Christ in my life.
September 2018: I started forming individual connections from people in the group chat, and it was nice to text Christian women and talk about Jesus. My relationship with Jesus was growing. I started to buy physical devotionals, and I bought a physical Bible. I felt so excited when I purchased these items. I wanted to decrease my time on my phone and sit in God’s presence while reading books. Someone from group chat showed me some excellent Gospel/Christian music that had Rap/Hip-Hop sound, but lyrics that worshipped God. I was so happy about that because that was the only reason I could never leave Rap/Hip-Hop music alone. I was hearing God’s voice as well. I heard Him audibly a lot, but it was fuzzy because I wasn’t giving my all to God.
October 2018: God led me to take a social media break from October 5th until November 17th. The only time I could post on Instagram was to promote a blog post. It was so hard in the beginning, but this month opened a door for me to grow closer to God and hear His voice clearer than I did already. I struggled in this month because I would still find myself consuming more television than Him. There were many days where the Lord would lead me to cut my tv off and spend time with Him. Also, I was only able to watch sermons on YouTube and some Christian YouTuber’s content. This was a great month to bask in God’s presence and no social media distractions. I found myself able to do my college work better without using social media. The Lord also led me to start fasting more (2 days out of the week to be exact).
November 2018: The Lord was still working on me in this month. I felt stronger in Christ where I was able to encourage others to keep walking with Jesus. I had a less desire for social media, and I turned 22. I was eternally grateful to see another year because many people aren’t seeing their 20s these days. I can’t thank God enough for always sticking by my side. I thank Him for the grace and mercy He’s given me to live this long. God revealed some great things that were going to happen to me! I found myself in awe of Jesus and enjoyed spending time with Him.
December 2018: I’m still enjoying the process of growing closer to God. I’m not as interested in makeup as I was in the past. My natural skin looks good, so I don’t feel the need to cover it up with a lot of concealer and foundation. I’ve learned to enjoy my bare face, lip gloss, and brush my brows. The month is almost over, and 2019 will be here!
If you’ve read all of this, Thank you for reading! I have grown and transformed a lot this year. I just wanted to share how God has changed me for better. I hope it inspires you to appreciate every moment in your walk with Christ. Through the good and the bad, God has a purpose for all the things that you are going through. If you want to start growing closer to God after reading this, I encourage you to pray to Him. Start reading Psalms in the Bible and let God transform your heart, mind, and soul from there. Make an effort to seek God every day, new Christians! God will be proud of your attempt, and He will fill you up where You lack! Have an amazing week! Thank God for new days and for allowing you to get this far in the year! You’re not here for no reason. You’re here with a purpose my friend! I love you all! Thank you for reading and sharing!
Prayer: In Jesus name, help us to appreciate every moment in our walk with You! Help us to reflect on how You’ve brought us through this year! Thank You for allowing us to make it to December! Continue to cover us with Your Blood! Help those who are seeking You to start making changes in their walk with You right now! We understand that every day is not promised, so help us to commit ourselves to You today! Not waiting for 2019. Lord if you allow us to walk into 2019, help those who are Christians to continue walking in victory with You! Help the new Christians to walk in 2019 with a new mindset ready to be transformed in You! In Jesus name, Amen!
If you want to give your life to Christ right now, here’s the prayer:
Dear God, I know that I’m a sinner and I need a Savior. I believe that Jesus died for my sins and rose again. I want to turn away from my sin and live a godly life. I now invite Jesus Christ into my heart as my Lord and Savior. I am willing to follow Him as Lord of my life from this day forward. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.
Believe this prayer in your heart and know that you are saved. If you said this prayer, please comment below! I want to see people choose to turn their life around to follow Jesus. If you skipped the choice to say the prayer, I will pray for you and hope that one day you will choose to follow Jesus before it’s too late.
1 Timothy 4:12 AMP – Let no one look down on [ you because of ] your youth, but be an example and set a pattern for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, an in [moral] purity.