As Valentine’s Day approaches, I want to remind you not to date because of pressure. It doesn’t matter how many times your aunties and uncles ask you “when are you going to get a boyfriend”, and your parents continue to remind you that they want grandkids. Never settle because you want to get a gift from a man on Valentine’s Day. Dating is serious business. You’re dating a man because you eventually want to marry him. Do not let anyone make you feel low because you don’t have anybody yet. Besides, Valentine’s Day should not be the only day that you show love to your partner. If you’re in a relationship, you should show love and build them up every day of your lives together.
Okay back to the single women, God is preparing us for the man of God that we desire. We have no time to be sulking over not having a man on Valentine’s Day. I want to tell you that if someone is making you feel inadequate because you’re not with anybody yet, they don’t need to be a part of your inner circle. I don’t care if it’s your family or your friends. It’s time to cut them off because if you continue to eat up that negativity, you will never be content with what God has already promised you. If God has spoken over you that you will be married one day, chill out and wait girl! Stop going out dating a bunch of random men, so you can test drive them to see which one is right for you. You know when this guy is not treating you right, but you would rather show this guy off to your family so they can leave you alone. I get it. I get it. I was almost like that too girl.
Everybody was pressuring me when I was pretty content with waiting for God. “You just need to try it out and date him.”, “you might miss out on a great guy” “You still don’t have a boyfriend? You’re getting too old for that.” Mind you, I’m only 22. I started talking to this guy. I felt like it wasn’t right, but I continued to talk to him so people would leave me alone or stop questioning my sexuality. I felt like God kept showing me red flags like his clinginess, he didn’t really show any interest in what I was talking about, wyd text, and late night calls/text around 1 in the morning. Oh yeah I got the “U up?” text. None of that sounds like a godly man right? I know. God had me questioning “what am I doing? Do I really like him?” I knew the red flags but tried to ignore them just to be with someone.
I remember asking God what do I tell this guy? How do I let him know I’m not interested? The Lord said “don’t say nothing.” I said “wait I can’t tell him that I’m not interested?” He replied “No, don’t answer his calls or text.” I listened to God and this guy called me and text me from the end of December to March I believe. Through that process, I wanted to tell the guy to leave me alone, but God told me don’t do that. God also showed me that I was impatient. I learned that he certainly wasn’t someone I wanted to be with and I never wanted to be with someone clingy. I’m thankful for that experience because I would’ve never learned how to look for red flags and I would’ve never had an idea of what I didn’t want in a guy.
I say all this to say, don’t rush the process my sister. Continue to wait for God, so you won’t get yourself into a hot mess like I almost did. I don’t know what could’ve happened if I started dating this guy. The enemy could’ve wrecked my life from dating because of pressure. As I write this post, I’m reminded to keep living and focusing on God, don’t worry about when I’m going to meet that special someone, and not to talk to/date someone because of the pressure from my family and friends. I’m learning that the foundation of a good future marriage is the preparation of my single season. So, girl continue to allow the Lord to prepare you as a godly wife and future mama.
Enjoy February 14th with Jesus girl! Don’t be in your room or house crying about not being with someone. You would rather wait for a great man of God than rushing into a relationship with someone who cheats, abuses, and is not a godly man. You’re going to be okay! Jesus is the One who loves you unconditionally! He is the One that put that desire in you to be married, so why not wait for His timing? He knows what’s best for you! If you’re with someone just to get a Valentine’s Day gift, girl take yourself to the feet of Jesus! You know you’re having a bad feeling about being with him, but you’re suffering for a one-day event? No ma’am, if you want something, get your own things for yourself. You shouldn’t be out here waiting for a man or a boy to buy you the world.
Take this time to love on Jesus during your single season. Give your problems to God. Tell Him how frustrated you are right now! Don’t run to a boy because everyone telling you to! Ask yourself this: Are you even ready for a relationship? Do you want to be with someone because you’re lonely? Is this relationship going to hinder you from God or bring you closer to God? I hope that this post encourages you to keep growing and leaning on God. I hope that you are encouraged to not settle! Never settle for your family, friends, or your feeling of loneliness.
When it’s time to settle, you’ll have peace that you waited on God. I’m speaking to myself here. You’ll be happy that you didn’t date or marry because of pressure. Keep your head up my sister! Your time will come when God presents the man that you are meant to be with. I love you and we’re in this season together! If you feel pressured in this moment in your life and have nobody to talk to about this issue, let’s talk! Contact me through here! If you’re using Instagram, DM me @funsizedchelle! I don’t want you to be lonely and make the biggest mistake for your future. So, let’s talk about this together and I can lift you up in prayer or encourage you personally!
Prayer: God, this prayer is for us single women, we’re praying that you come through for us as we deal with this lonely time of our life. We ask that you continue to speak LIFE over us! Give us strength to keep walking with You even when we don’t see our future spouse right now! Lord help us to use our singleness as a moment to pray for our future spouse. Every time we think about what he’s doing or where he’s at, help us to transfer that thought into a prayer for him. He needs our prayers just as much as we need his prayers for us! In Jesus name, mold us and shape us into the Woman of God that you want us to be. Help us to spend more time with you! Teach us to how to love You more than our future spouse. We never want to idolize our future husband in our future marriage.
Lord help us to disregard all of the negativity around us about not dating or not having a boyfriend ever. We know what You’ve promised us, so help us to look forward to those promises! In Jesus name, remove those ungodly men out of your daughter’s lives. You know they aren’t for them and they really don’t want to be with them. Help us to look at our singleness in a different perspective! In Jesus name, we DECLARE and DECREE that we will date intentionally, and we will marry the Man of God that is for us. Our future marriages SHALL continue to set a foundation for our future children and their children!! We’re breaking the cycle of ungodly/bad marriages in Jesus name! Yes God! In Jesus name, we love YOU! Amen!
Proverbs 31:11-12 NLT –  Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.