How Are You? (Words From the Strong Friend)

You know, it’s hard being a friend sometimes. It’s especially difficult to be the strong friend. What is a strong friend? Well, I’m glad you asked. A strong friend is the one who takes on her friend(s) problems emotionally and mentally. She is the one who gives all the advice and rarely receives any back when she’s not feeling the best. She will make time to answer her friend’s calls or text when they are going through something. The strong friend checks up on her friends to make sure they are doing well even when there’s no reciprocation. That is a strong friend! Does that sound like someone in your group or your personal friend?

If you know anybody like this, I would love for you to send her a text or call her to check on her once or twice a week. While this kind of friend is checking on you, she maybe going through a similar situation as you. She doesn’t tell you because she knows that you have issues of your own and she doesn’t want to seem selfish. She would rather see you happy than sad, so she puts her emotions on the back burner. Wow right?

I’ve been the strong friend for majority of my life. I always knew how to encourage others. It seemed like I always knew what to say. I’m constantly the one that checks on people with “hey how are you?” It wasn’t to look for a reciprocation. I genuinely cared about how my friends were doing? I wanted to know where they were emotionally, mentally, or seeing how their week has been going. As the strong friend, I just wanted to see my friends happy and in a good place in their life.


Recently last year, I became frustrated with friendships. I started wondering why people don’t check on me as much as I check on them. Was I really a good friend? Do I sound selfish if I just want someone to ask me how am I doing? I couldn’t understand why my friendships felt so one-sided. Well God started speaking to me through people. I started seeing different topics about friendships and learning about where I stand as a friend. I’ve seen some Instagram posts explain that there are different types of friendships like mentorships, one-sided friendships…etc. I also read Heather Lindsey’s Pink Lips & Empty Hearts where she had a section about friendships.

Mentorships are people where they are always coming to you for advice. They just feel like you have the answers for everything. You check on them to see how they are handling things with the situation that they’ve told you about. They only come to you for advice now. It’s not a friendship where you both talk about different topics. I saw this and thought to myself that I’ve had these types of friendships in the past. They just wanted me to tell them what they should do in their situations.

One – sided friendships – These are the exhausting friendships that we try to hold on to. One person does all the work like texting, calling, and planning hangouts. They do the work while the other friend just shows up to the hangouts or rarely text/call you. You barely get a reciprocation from these friendships. Who’s had these friendships? Girl, I know I have.


The Amen Friendship – The friend that agrees with everything you say because they are afraid to tell you about yourself. They don’t want to lose you as a friend, so it’s only right to just say “yes” to everything.

But, this isn’t about different types of friendships. This is about knowing that having a strong friend is a gift from God. These friends should be appreciated more than they are. A strong friend will give you her last few dollars to help you out because that’s how much she cares about you. She appreciates helping you out even when she’s frustrated that you don’t reciprocate.

I’ve been learning recently from God that I am that friend because my current friends need my help to grow. They probably would have quit by now if it had not been for my prayers or checking up on them frequently. My friends need encouragement from me when they are struggling secretly.


To my Strong friend ladies: Your friends don’t tell you everything that they are going through internally. They just give you the scratch surface. They don’t want to tell you what’s really going on because they maybe embarrassed. You probably don’t act like you’ll judge them, but the enemy makes people feel like nobody will care.  Your friends will also think they will be hated if someone knew their real story. When in reality, you wouldn’t because you’re a good friend and you’re compassionate.


Last year, I felt like I was overfriendly towards friends because I barely received reciprocation from anybody through text messages. But, God showed me through hangouts that I have some really good friends that actually value me. Sometimes the enemy plays tricks with your mind and makes you feel like you’re less of friend because he sees that you’re impactful in their lives. When you know your role as a friend, you won’t expect so much out of a person. You realize that you encourage them even if you feel unappreciated at times.

To the strong friend, without you in their life, they might’ve quit trying to live. They might’ve went the wrong path, but God aligned you together to keep her crown up when she was falling. You were the one that made her believe that she could be anything. You showed her who Jesus is through your actions, your love towards her, and through your words verbally. Your friends appreciate you even when they might not say it enough or show you. Look at how long you’ve been friends and realize how everybody left, but some of them stuck by your side through thick and thin.

If you’re reading this and you have a strong friend, tell her you appreciate her and ask her how she is doing. That will brighten her day more than you know.

I hope this post encouraged you whether you’re the strong friend or someone with a strong friend in their circle. You are all loved by God no matter what you do! Have a blessed week! I believe that you can get through this week with your head held high. I love you all! Thank you for reading and sharing!

Prayer: In Jesus name, thank you for strong friends! Thank you for allowing strong friends to get through so much, so that they could help their friends get through life. Thank you Lord for showing us that there are different types of friendships or relationships in our lives. Help us to know our roles in our life, so that we do not feel like we are pouring too much out of us. Help us to love each other. Also help us to extend grace and mercy to our friends. You extend mercy and grace to us, so we should do the same in our lives. We forgive those friends who have hurt us in the past and we forgive ourselves for being too hard on us. In Jesus name, we pray, Amen!

Proverbs 17:17 NLT – A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

Follow me on Instagram @funsizedchelle for more encouragement! DM me and say hello! Can’t wait to see you there!



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