A lot of times, single women focus on “why am I not married yet” instead of “God what do you want me to focus on while I am in this season?” Lately in this waiting season, God has been preparing me to become a wife. I am understanding each and every day, why I am single right now. I still have a lot of work to do with myself and to fulfill an assignment that God is doing through me as a woman. If you want to understand why you are single, please take a look at my Single Women Series!
If you understand the reason of your singleness, I want you to focus on the questions that are asked below towards becoming a wife. It will shape you and allow you to work on becoming a better woman.
1. How is your relationship with Jesus? – This is the number one important thing about becoming a wife. You’re not going to know how to to be a wife without a relationship with Jesus. Also, the Holy Spirit can guide you on what scriptures to read about marriage, what resources to look up online as a Christian wife and can speak to you personally on how to become the woman that aligns with your spouse. You should be praying, fasting, praising & worshiping Jesus right now. You and Jesus should become close before you ever try to step into a relationship with a man. No man should come before Jesus! So, whether you are single or dating, stay in routine of being in Jesus face!
2. Are you emotionally available? – Are you in sync with your emotions or are you emotionless? As a wife, you should be able to support your husband when he is distressed, sad, or angry. Maybe he had a bad day at work, or a family member died. You should be able to be by his side emotionally. Can you console him while he is in tears? Right now, you might be a woman that can’t handle being around people being sad or angry. You might be the type to fade away in that time of need. At this moment in your life, you should evaluate how you’re able to handle other people’s emotions. Don’t leave them hanging while they are in the roughest moments of their life. You won’t be able to escape your husband’s frustration in your household, so practice showing support or consolation for family and friends. Learn to pray for them in their tough situations.
3. Can you keep up with a household? – Proverbs 31:27 NLT – “She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.” Sis, you need to know how to clean, cook, buy groceries, and most importantly pray for your household. While you are single or courting, learn how to do these things. Evaluate how you are cleaning your space right now. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a dorm room, house, or apartment. You need to be practicing how to be a neat and tidy woman. Your husband does not want to come home to a dirty household. It is where you will both live when you’re married. You want to be able to set the tone for your household by how you clean, cook, and pray over your household. You want your husband and child(ren) to enjoy coming home, not running off somewhere else after work or school. You don’t have to be a housewife sis but learn how to be the keeper of your home right now.
4. Do you know how to pray? – Can you go to war with the evil spirits that are trying to come into your home? In this time of singleness/dating, take time to learn how to pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you and guide you through prayers. If you don’t pray in tongues, ask for that gift. The Holy Spirit can pray for the perfect will of God. He knows all things and exactly what to pray for. The way that we pray with our own speech can only get us so far. The Holy Spirit can intercede for your family through your mouth. It is important to go beyond simple prayers like “Lord, bless us or keep us safe Jesus.” Those are fine prayers too, but we have to go deeper, so that we can cancel the enemy’s schemes over our households. Read Romans 8:26-27.
5. How are you with money? – Do you know how to save, or do you blow your paycheck on miscellaneous items? Ladies, it’s important to learn how to budget money. I’m with you on this one. It’s hard to save money especially when you want to spend it on other items. We have to figure out through online resources on how to do better in our finances. One thing I can say is you need to look at how you’re spending your money. Where is it going? Is it going somewhere important or somewhere not fruitful? When we are joined with our spouse, we’re going to have to know how to manage our money whether for tithes, bills, groceries, car note, vacations, and all those other things. Proverbs 10:4 CSB – “Idle hands make one poor, but diligent brings riches.”
6. Are you trustworthy? – Proverbs 31:11 NLT – “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” In your personal life, can people trust you with their secrets? Can people count on you if you make a promise to them? As a wife, we must be able to show our husbands that they can trust us. Their business is not going to be passed onto our girlfriends, so that they can know what happening in our husband’s life. He has to know that you are going to pray for him and not talk behind his back. Your children have to trust that you will not only provide a listening ear, but to feel safe about telling you about their life. Right now, evaluate if you are a trustworthy person by asking family and friends. They will surely tell you the truth. Also are you honest or are you a liar? Your husband won’t be able to trust you if you are a liar, so ask the Lord to help you correct yourself if this is your character.
7. How do you speak about others and yourself? – As a woman of God, you should speak positively about yourself and other people. You shouldn’t be talking down to someone or gossiping about other people. As a wife, you should be encouraging and building your husband and children up, not tearing them down. Proverbs 31:12 NLT – “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” If your husband feels insecure about an issue in his life, you should be able to console and encourage him. Don’t beat up on him. You and him are supposed to be a team, not against each other. Do you encourage people around you or are you always negative? If you plan to be someone’s wife, you need to practice speaking kind and encouraging words to others.
8. What do you do in your spare time? – As a wife, you honestly need balance sis. You don’t have to constantly work all the time. You need time to relax and do something fun. Your husband is not going to want to work or talk about it all the time. Have fun with your family, friends, or boyfriend. Something I had to learn recently is, don’t take life seriously by only focusing on work or ministry. Do something that you love and when you’re married, do something that you’ll both love. Your husband and your children will want to enjoy downtime with you. So if you’re a workaholic, cut back sis! Practice enjoying your life through hobbies, traveling, and downtime at home. You only have ONE LIFE! Don’t stress yourself to the grave prematurely.
9. Are you healthy or are you fit? – What are you doing to keep yourself in shape? I see a lot of single women say that they want a healthy and fit man. What are you doing on your end? We have to practice staying in shape and being healthy for our husband and child(ren). I want to be able to run after my children around the house or when we go to the park. I want to be healthy for myself and for my husband. It’s hard to get into a routine of exercise, but once we have a habit, we can do this! We want to be married until death do us part, but some of us are cutting our lives short due to poor eating habits and lack of exercise. Be the wife that wants to take care of her body before and after she gets married.
10. Do you like kids or do you want children? – Everybody is not meant to have children. If you desire kids of your own, you should start becoming familiar with children, whether you have nieces or nephews. Maybe you have baby cousins and you want to watch them sometimes. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you have some form of experience with children. You wouldn’t want to be completely clueless about taking care of your own kids. Pray that your future husband knows how to handle children too, so you can both be a bit knowledgeable about maintaining children.
11. How’s your hygiene? – You don’t have to answer aloud. Just know that you need to be brushing your teeth, grooming yourself, and washing yourself in the morning and at night. Don’t be out here looking like you don’t take care of yourself. Sometimes, you have your days when you go out looking a mess, and that’s understandable. None of us are perfect. If you’re not a perfume or lotion scented person, find a way to smell good for your skin type. I suffer from eczema, so I have to be careful about the body washes, lotions, and scents that I use for my body. Of course, as a wife one day, you’re going to want to look presentable and FIONE for your husband. You want his eyes on you right? Keep your hygiene up, and there’s nothing wrong with dressing cute, putting on your makeup (go by your personal conviction), and smelling great for yourself and husband.
12. Where are you mentally? – Is your mind ready for a relationship? Will you be able to handle a man’s emotions? You need to be able to be a team with your husband. This man will be a part of your life until death. A lot of women say that they want to be with someone, but is there too much going on right now? It’s okay to say you need more time to yourself or to figure things out before marriage. Maybe a family member just died, or a friend is sick in the hospital. Your parents just got a divorce. You need to mentally process what’s going on in your life right now before you can join with your future husband. Also, you could’ve just came out of a toxic relationship, so you need time to heal. Take a mental break sis and take your time to heal. Don’t rush into a relationship. This is the time to put yourself in God’s hands. Wait until Jesus allows you to start courting.
I hope that this blog post was helpful and you’re able to make progress to become a godly wife before you get married. I’ve been watching a lot of Christ-centered videos about being a godly wife and how to date with purpose. The Holy Spirit has also given me some things to think about as I prepare for marriage. I would love to hear your thoughts whether you’re married or dating on becoming a godly wife for us, single ladies! Comment down below!
Prayer: Thank You Jesus for allowing us to gain knowledge on preparing to be godly wives for our future husbands. Guide us each day to become closer to You and wait for Your perfect timing. Thank you, Jesus, for keeping us this far. We ask that you lead our future husbands to prepare for us. Cover them under Your Blood! We thank you for our future husbands. We ask that you continue to grow us and mature us in the women that You want us to be. Help us to find our purpose and focus on that as we wait! Help us to continue to go forth in our purpose when we are courting and married. In Jesus name, Amen!
Proverbs 31:25 NLT – She clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
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